# Transforming Writer's Jealousy into Creative Growth
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Chapter 1: Understanding Writer's Jealousy
Do you recognize that uncomfortable feeling? The twist in your stomach, the lump in your throat, and the wave of sadness that washes over you? It often arises when you see a fellow writer flaunting their high-profile clients or celebrating a recent bestseller. Such moments can leave you feeling small and unimportant, triggering intense jealousy even if you pride yourself on being a kind person. You desire their success for yourself.
You’ve put in the effort, made sacrifices, and perhaps even excelled in your craft. I understand this sentiment all too well. Back in 2018, I took the plunge and left my stable corporate job to pursue fiction writing. I had dreams of publishers vying for my manuscripts. However, after a few minor publications, I realized my literary ambitions were far from financially viable, with minimal income to show for my efforts. Meanwhile, other authors seemed to thrive, landing lucrative publishing deals and basking in fame while I watched from the sidelines.
Why does life feel so unjust?
The competitive nature of the writing industry ultimately pushed me toward nonfiction. This wasn't just a quick switch; it was a journey filled with frustration and envy. Yet, I emerged stronger and more complete. If I could overcome these feelings, so can you.
What if jealousy is trying to tell you something important?
Jealousy is often viewed as a shameful emotion. We’re comfortable discussing our fears, grief, and anxieties, but we tend to hide our jealousy. Why? Because it suggests we feel inadequate and that we don’t want others to succeed.
Jealousy can be a blow to our self-worth. But what if facing this emotion is the key to overcoming it? Rather than suppressing jealousy, we can use it as a catalyst for growth.
The first video titled "I Seriously Believe This is the #1 Way You Can Grow as a Writer" explores how to harness your experiences, including jealousy, to foster your development as a writer.
Chapter 2: The Roots of Jealousy in Writers
Writers are often seen as sensitive individuals, inspired by the beauty and wonder of life. However, they are also particularly susceptible to jealousy. Why? The literary world is notoriously competitive, with only a small percentage of writers achieving recognition and success. When someone else excels, it can feel as though they’ve taken your opportunity for success.
Sometimes, jealousy is a rational response. Achieving recognition in the arts often hinges on factors beyond skill, such as:
- Networking connections
- Relationships and family ties
- Social, cultural, and economic circumstances
- Pure luck
Aside from your network, you have little control over these aspects, which can fuel feelings of injustice and jealousy.
What should you do when jealousy takes over?
Confront Your Jealousy Head-On!
Suppressing emotions can lead to mental turmoil. Writing about your feelings can be cathartic, helping you to process your thoughts. In "Chatter," Ethan Kross discusses how journaling can break negative thought cycles, allowing you to move on.
If journaling isn't your thing, consider going for a walk, venting to a friend, or even shouting into the void. Acknowledging your emotions, no matter how uncomfortable, is the first step to healing.
Focus on the Bigger Picture
Once you’ve allowed yourself to express your anger, take a step back. Ask yourself: Do you want to stay in this negative space? If you had only a few days left to live, would you dwell on others’ successes or focus on your own journey?
Create a gratitude list to remind yourself of your achievements. Dr. Julie Smith emphasizes in "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before" that gratitude can counteract negative feelings. Recognize that you have accomplishments others may envy.
Learn from Your Jealousy
Jealousy often highlights what you desire. Use it as a compass to identify your goals and pave the way toward achieving them.
Transform Jealousy into Motivation
If you allow jealousy to consume you and block those you envy, remember: they will continue to succeed regardless. Instead, consider how you can learn from their achievements.
Are you envious of their productivity? Start creating relentlessly.
- If networking is their forte, push yourself to connect with others.
- Have they launched a successful product? Take steps to create one of your own.
Remember: your jealousy stems from a fear of scarcity. The success of others does not diminish your potential.
Cultivate Compassion
Even in your sadness, congratulate others on their successes. Acknowledge their achievements publicly, and you may find that your feelings of envy transform into genuine happiness for them. This kindness can foster closer relationships.
Use Jealousy as Creative Fuel
Consider the story of Danielle Krysa, the creator of The Jealous Curator, who used her jealousy to inspire her work, leading to books, TED talks, and a successful career.
Finally, recognize that jealousy often signals low self-esteem. Rather than wallowing in those feelings, channel them into action. Create, network, learn, and share your work. Celebrate every small victory along the way, as enjoying the journey is essential.
Remember, everyone’s path is unique. Embrace the opportunity to create, learn from others, and let jealousy drive you toward excellence with an open heart.
The second video, "Destructive Writer Habits that Are Holding You Back (and How to Overcome Them)," provides insights into common pitfalls writers face and how to rise above them.
Are you ready to transform your jealousy into something meaningful? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Thank you for reading!