Chapter 1: The Evolution of Self-Care

My journey towards self-care has been transformative, with new insights emerging almost daily. Reflecting on my experiences from 2017, I recognize five key practices that consistently aid my self-care efforts. These methods not only alter my mindset but also reshape my internal dialogue.

TAKE TIME TO REST

If you live or work in New York, you might find yourself in desperate need of dedicated rest days! It took considerable time for me to reach this understanding, particularly as a native New Yorker. I’ve learned to embrace the necessity of taking breaks without guilt—an important shift in my mindset.

After returning to New York a few years ago, I felt overwhelmed by the relentless hustle, even when most were working from home. In contrast, the more relaxed lifestyle in Paris highlighted a stark difference: people in the U.S. often live to work, while many Europeans work to live.

During my corporate career, I often felt guilty for calling in sick. By the end, I realized how detrimental the work environment had been to my mental and physical health. I remember my first mental health day; I told my boss I had the stomach flu to avoid judgment. Nowadays, many companies prioritize mental health, so when you need a break, take it. Even as a freelancer, I ensure I rest when necessary. Working while exhausted often leads to subpar results.

Taking time off applies not just to work but to all areas of life—friends, exercise, social media, and more. Rest is essential for recharging and being our best selves. If we can’t care for ourselves, how can we support others?

Pro Tip: If taking a full rest day isn’t feasible, consider a morning stretch, meditation, or yoga session before your day begins. Treat yourself to something enjoyable at the end of your day, and remember to schedule that rest day soon after!

The first video, "Why Self Care isn't Selfish," by Jessica Brubaker at TEDxGrandCanyonUniversity, delves into the importance of prioritizing self-care without guilt. It emphasizes that caring for oneself is a necessary step to better support others.

BE COMPASSIONATE

Practicing kindness can sometimes be challenging due to our own struggles. In stressful moments, it’s easy to react with anger instead of compassion. I’ve made it a point to extend grace to others more frequently. Remember, everyone is fighting their own battles, and often, someone’s bad mood isn’t a reflection of you.

Additionally, we must remember to show ourselves kindness. We are often our harshest critics, striving for perfection and holding unrealistic expectations. This mindset can lead to negative emotions and diminish our self-worth. In these moments, take a breath and focus on your blessings. A book that has helped me manage my expectations is "Drop the Ball" by Tiffany Dufu, which I highly recommend.

Pro Tip: Start a gratitude journal and make daily entries. This practice can significantly shift your mindset and enhance your overall outlook.

MOVE YOUR BODY

Physical movement is a surefire way to boost my mood, even on days when I feel particularly sluggish. Whenever I’m stuck in a mental rut, I find that simply moving—whether it’s going for a walk, jogging, or even dancing—can be incredibly uplifting. These breaks often spark inspiration for my work or new ideas to explore.

Pro Tip: Incorporate stretching into your daily routine. I’ve found this to be a game changer for both physical and mental well-being. For an excellent resource, try Ben Alldis’ 10-minute full-body stretches on Peloton for free.

PROTECT YOUR ENERGY

Lately, I’ve become more attuned to my own energy and the energies surrounding me, thanks to my meditation practices. Protecting my energy can be as simple as choosing not to check my phone or emails at certain times. Recognize the people and interactions that drain you and engage with them only when you feel prepared.

I’ve also learned to manage my social media interactions. Unfollowing or muting accounts that negatively impact my mental health has been beneficial. While you may not want to unfollow friends or family, you can still mute them.

Another critical aspect of protecting your energy is learning to say no to commitments that don’t resonate with you. I find it easier to say no to plans that I’m not excited about. Time is precious, and it should be spent on activities that enrich our lives.

Pro Tip: If you struggle to maintain your boundaries, remind yourself that "Self Care is never selfish." Repeat it as needed.

PAY IT FORWARD

One of my daily goals is to pay it forward, whether through big or small acts. This practice might seem unrelated to self-care, but you’ll be surprised at how fulfilling it can be.

For me, mentoring and speaking engagements allow me to make a positive impact on others. The sense of fulfillment I get from these experiences is unmatched.

Paying it forward can be as simple as buying a meal for someone in need, volunteering, or supporting a cause that resonates with you. Reflecting on your gratitude journal might inspire you to share a moment of appreciation with someone else.

Pro Tip: Acts of kindness don’t have to be grand gestures. Stay open to opportunities throughout your day, and let the kindness flow naturally.

The second video, "Self Care is Never Selfish," discusses the significance of self-care and encourages viewers to prioritize their well-being as an essential part of life.

By practicing these self-care techniques, you can cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life.