Chapter 1: The Awakening

It all began with a simple yet profound question: “Is this the life I envision for myself?” Over the years, I have experienced life in various forms—both as a single individual and as someone in a committed relationship that lasted five years. Each stage presented unique challenges and lessons, and I can confidently say they are as different as apples and oranges.

As I take the time to contemplate my path, I recognize the rich array of experiences I've gathered—from the depth of a long-term partnership to the liberating joys of being single. Each segment of my journey has imparted invaluable lessons, making the ride exhilarating and worthwhile.

Partnerships, whether they be personal or professional, are complex interwoven threads of emotions and actions. The dynamics shift subtly over time, often without our awareness. During my years in a partnership, I consciously chose not to assign blame. Instead, I viewed emotions as obstacles to be navigated. I organized my life similarly to how I managed my business—like a puzzle needing careful assembly and ongoing upkeep.

To juggle the demands of my personal and professional life, I adopted a strategy of emotional detachment. This approach helped me create a semblance of order amid the chaos of responsibilities. I compartmentalized my existence, developing schedules that mirrored my work commitments. In doing so, my personal aspirations often took a backseat while I devoted my energy to my professional growth.

Over time, I fell into a monotonous cycle of routines and obligations, even scheduling time for dates and personal enjoyment as if they were work meetings. My personal desires were sidelined as I channeled my focus into professional goals.

Then, one day, reality struck me like a lightning bolt—I was never going to be truly acknowledged for my contributions to the relationship we had built. Years of pain and disappointment had accumulated, and I found myself grappling with a crucial question: Was this the life I genuinely desired?

With the clarity that hindsight provides, I can affirm that I wouldn't alter my past choices. They have sculpted me into a more emotionally aware and resilient person. While I may not have always made the right decisions, I've learned and grown through the trials I faced, emerging as a stronger version of myself.

Yet, as the years passed, I began to feel invisible in both my relationship and my life. The cumulative impact of hurt and disappointment became a wake-up call, prompting me to ask: Is this truly how I want to live?

Reflecting on my past decisions, I understand they have fortified my character, pushing me to evolve into a bolder individual. Ending a long-term relationship was undoubtedly a daunting leap. I observed the partnership I had nurtured disintegrate while striving to maintain my emotional stability. As the saying goes, it’s not about how we fall; it’s about how we rise again—a principle that applies to both our personal lives and our professional endeavors.

Now, in my newfound singleness, I have discovered a profound sense of freedom. I’ve realized that my success is not contingent upon having a romantic partner. If I decide to date someone, it will be because it enriches my life, nothing more.

When contemplating a potential partner, look for attributes like support, consistency, fun, adventure, and emotional maturity. Your partner should complement your life without requiring you to sacrifice your own desires. It's about becoming a person with options, and here’s how to achieve that.

To begin with, focus on enhancing your skills within your field or craft. Master the essentials of your profession with unwavering determination, ignoring external opinions. This commitment will not only secure your financial stability but also grant you the freedom to make choices.

Moreover, prioritize personal development in all dimensions—emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Don't let others cloud your vision or distract you from your goals. Your future rests solely in your hands. You define your journey, who you aspire to be, the life you want to lead, and the people with whom you wish to share it.

So, which is easier—a relationship or being single? In my view, neither path is inherently simpler. The true route to becoming a person with options lies in taking charge of your journey and choices. Release what no longer benefits you, allowing yourself the freedom to embrace new opportunities and knowledge.

If we choose to engage with a partner (or partners), it should be because they uplift us, without demanding we compromise our own aspirations. So, how do we become individuals with choices?

Strive diligently to become the finest version of yourself, quietly and with grace. You don’t owe anyone explanations about your personal growth. You have no obligation to remain the same person you were moments ago. Embrace change, pursue your dreams, and cherish the freedom that comes with being someone who has choices.

As a single person, I now relish the freedom that comes with it. I understand that relationships are not prerequisites for success. If I choose to date, it’s purely for joy—without complications. My professional life is already filled with challenges; I don’t need additional stress in my personal life, nor do you.

Standing in the bright light of my singlehood, I can assert that being unattached has brought me success, freedom, and the power of choice. And you, too, can experience this liberation.

Now, let's delve deeper into the topic of being single and its impact on our lives.

Video Description: Bella DePaulo explores the societal misconceptions surrounding single individuals, shedding light on their experiences and successes.

Video Description: A candid discussion about the struggles and frustrations of being single, addressing the feelings of invisibility and the quest for self-identity.