# The Reality of Leaving a Job in Healthcare: No Room for Half-Measures
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Chapter 1: The Struggle with Quiet Quitting
Believe me when I say I attempted to embrace the concept of "quiet quitting." It's not something I take pride in, but I gave it a shot: I focused on my tasks, shared laughs with colleagues, and tried to convince myself that this was the best scenario and that I should be thankful for my job and salary.
I managed to endure this mindset for about four months—far less than my tolerance for other difficult situations in the past. Speaking of past challenges, rebuilding my self-trust has been a journey, yet I see progress. I completed my Certified Nursing Assistant externship at this facility, which allowed me to familiarize myself with both the environment and the staff prior to making my employment decision. The facility itself was decent—clean, especially when compared to my earlier experiences—and the residents were as content as one could be while recovering from painful surgeries or receiving long-term care.
At this moment, I'm grappling with significant "quitters remorse" now that the day has ended, leaving me alone with my thoughts about what transpired. To be fair, my time there wasn't entirely negative; I had some wonderful moments as a CNA, including receiving flowers from a resident just last week. However, the joy of those flowers couldn't erase the feelings of dread and defeat that weighed on me every morning before entering the building.
It's true that I have struggled with social anxiety after spending a decade as a stay-at-home mom in isolation. Yet, my gut feelings of unease ran deeper than simple culture shock.
Section 1.1: The Morning After
After a night's reflection, I've realized I've become much better at managing my emotions, particularly anxiety. I seldom act impulsively—unless it's that time of the month when I crave all things salty. I took the time to deeply reflect on my decision to resign after just four months, weighing the potential consequences and considering how my mental health would fare over the next few months. By "deeply reflect," I mean I stressed over it until I felt unwell.
Throughout my life, I've felt two conflicting forces within me: one being my gut instincts yelling that something is amiss, and the other being my tendency to overlook red flags to focus on the positives in people and situations. My best friend of thirty years has shown me her true colors repeatedly, and it’s somewhat embarrassing how long I clung to that friendship while exhausting myself to maintain it. I was also in a marriage for almost two decades where, despite some good moments, glaring red flags about my partner's personality were impossible to ignore, yet I chose to do so.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Work Environment
The atmosphere at my job—particularly the presence of my boss and the stifling energy permeating the halls—triggered memories of past toxic relationships characterized by imbalance and criticism. It felt similar to trying to mend a broken relationship, only to suffer due to fundamental issues on the other side. When you mix that energy with extreme stress, overwhelming responsibility, and minimal pay that felt like theft, you end up with high employee turnover and a work environment I didn’t want to endure for even one more day.
Section 1.2: Beyond Quiet Quitting
I say, forget about “quiet quitting.” Let's strive for more.
Chapter 2: Embracing Change and Moving Forward
I acknowledge the privilege I have in being able to move back in with my parents, resign from my job abruptly, and have enough savings to explore my next steps in life (which I am fully embracing right now). I also have two additional job offers lined up just in case my writing career doesn't take off.
One last thought: I don’t often have regrets, but I wish I had chosen a less crude term than "wiping asses" to convey my point in my previous article.
I apologize for that. And thank you for the flowers.
Thank you for reading. You are appreciated.