Chapter 1: Introduction to the Hard Truth

Welcome to Da Hard Truth, my friend! This publication is co-hosted by Teri Nickels and myself, where we explore modern dating from both male and female viewpoints. Here’s how it operates:

1. You can send us your most pressing questions, whether through a comment or by emailing us at [email protected].
2. I draft a blog post that reflects my masculine perspective on the issue.
3. Teri composes and shares her own blog with her feminine viewpoint.
4. Finally, we come together to write a combined post where we discuss our differing opinions to uncover the core of the matter.

This week’s inquiry comes from MJ, who shared an intriguing conversation with a male family member. He believes that withholding certain truths or not fully disclosing information to his wife is the best course of action. His stance is that revealing the complete truth could harm their bond and trust. However, MJ expressed a preference for honesty, stating that it’s better to hear the truth from her partner rather than discovering it through other means. Teri’s response provides further insight into this dilemma.

Chapter 2: The Dilemma of Honesty

Is it acceptable to be dishonest with your partner?

My take on this matter is quite conflicted. If you’ve read my articles, you’ll notice that I generally advocate for the “Tell the hard truth, even if it’s uncomfortable” philosophy. From my viewpoint, honesty should always be prioritized.

However, the reality is that many individuals don’t share this perspective. You didn’t inquire whether a man should seek out women with whom he can be completely open; rather, you asked if he should be entirely transparent with the woman he is currently with. This indicates that he is likely in a relationship with an average person who may respond defensively to brutal honesty.

Consider this: if you tell a woman who is gaining weight that you are no longer attracted to her, you could easily be labeled as a horrible person. Logically, she may understand that if she looked this way when you first met, you wouldn’t have been interested in her.

Now, if you tell a man he’s inadequate in bed or that his size is unnoticeable during intimacy, he might react as though you’ve committed an unforgivable offense. While he could work on improving his skills or seek alternative ways to be intimate, it’s more likely he’ll redirect the blame onto you.

The truth is, many of us fear being honest because we realize that most people struggle to handle the truth. So, if we consider a typical person in a relationship with another typical person, I wouldn’t necessarily advocate for brutal honesty.

You might argue that honesty is always the best policy, which I partially agree with. Nevertheless, I also recognize that some individuals simply aren't ready to face certain realities. If you choose to shatter the illusions that they hold dear, be prepared for significant backlash.

Ultimately, while he can choose to be honest, this decision may very well lead to the end of his relationship—whether that’s a positive or negative outcome depends on the specific situation.

The next question is whether one should seek out partners who allow for complete honesty. My answer is an emphatic yes. Relationships where both individuals feel free to express themselves lead to mutual growth and eliminate lingering resentments.

Yet, this raises another question: how does one find a partner who is genuinely open? My suggestion is to engage with personal development communities. Individuals who are committed to self-improvement are accustomed to confronting harsh truths and looking deep within themselves.

But that’s just my perspective. Stay tuned for my upcoming debate with Teri, which promises to be enlightening!

Ciao, tchau, sayonara, and don’t forget to follow me on my social platforms!