Chapter 1: The Quest for Transformation

In my 28 years of exploring spiritual and personal growth, I've identified two significant paths to transformation. Which of these is truly the most effective?

By Gede Wahyu — CC BY-SA 4.0

Maverick Zen master Robert Rose emphasizes the importance of thoroughly investigating your spiritual journey. However, not everyone has been supportive of my explorations.

“Damian, you lack commitment! Your sister feels the same,” my former partner lamented, tears streaming down her face. Yet, when I have committed fully, it often went awry as well.

“Damian, your pursuits are always extreme. Why spend so much time in these Indian ashrams?” my mother pleaded with me.

I was nearing the end of a three-year immersion in Advaita Vedanta in Maharashtra, India. The dilemma arose: should I fully dedicate myself to one practice, or sample various methods? Which approach yields the greatest results? Or is there an alternative path to discovering your inner essence that cannot be replicated? To find true treasure, one must dig a deep well.

Swami Parthasarathy advocated for unwavering focus—commit to one path while sidelining others. Dissatisfied with my weekly Sanskrit chanting and meditation sessions, along with my home yoga practice and spiritual readings, I yearned for a more profound experience. The idea of spending an extended period in an ashram, the spiritual heart of India, captivated me.

I departed London, leaving behind my mundane 9–5 job, to embrace life as a Brahmachari (student) for three years in India, delving into Advaita Vedanta philosophy. Years later, I left my job again to immerse myself in another Indian ashram for two and a half additional years, studying Sanskrit.

Daily life in the ashram was meticulously structured, with activities scheduled from 4:15 am to 9:00 pm, including chanting, lectures, work, meals, sleep, yoga, self-study, and meditation.

However, the experience was challenging. The food was bland, temperatures soared to 104°F in summer, monsoon rains lasted up to 20 hours a day, and winter mornings were a brisk 34°F. The cultural clashes were stark—no intimacy, constant fatigue from early mornings, and isolation from friends and family often led to conflict among students.

When asked about my 5.5 years in Indian ashrams, I describe it as a comprehensive experience filled with more downs than ups—a meaningful journey that tested my resilience. Immersing myself in this environment helped me grasp and appreciate Advaita Philosophy more deeply.

With a sharpened intellect, I found myself reflecting on how past traumas influenced my current state. Returning home to Australia after such an extended absence proved difficult. The structured life of the ashram, devoid of mundane responsibilities like cooking, paying bills, or dealing with a boss, made reintegration challenging. Anger and frustration bubbled beneath the surface as I faced the disillusionment of modern life.

I recognized a need for change and growth, and I wanted it urgently. My heart ached with sadness that had long been suppressed, and it demanded immediate attention.

My salvation came through therapy.

This video, "LIFE IS SPIRITUAL PRESENTS - ERICA DOCUMENTARY PART 28 - SPIRIT OF ANTICHRIST II," explores the complexities of spiritual journeys and transformation.

I committed to two types of therapy over several months:

Primal Therapy

In the words of Dr. Arthur Janov, “We have discovered a way into those early emotional archives, allowing us to re-experience and integrate repressed memories.”

I engaged in two months of weekly sessions, and while primal therapy may evoke images of screaming and punching pillows, it encompasses much more. The process of releasing emotional pain tied to childhood trauma left me feeling unburdened and lighter.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy

According to the American Psychological Association, EMDR helps patients process trauma through bilateral stimulation, reducing emotional intensity.

With newfound energy, I sought an EMDR therapist in Melbourne, Australia. This therapy notably improved my responses to powerful emotions while interacting with women, enhancing my intimate connections.

To further communicate my progress, I attended a weekend workshop on Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

NVC, as described by Marshall Rosenberg, “uses consciousness, language, and communication skills to foster clarity and empathy in expressing feelings and needs.”

While workshops provided valuable concepts, the real power lies in practical application. Armed with newfound knowledge, I practiced NVC with my mother, setting clear boundaries that ultimately fostered mutual respect and independence.

Which Path Holds the Most Power?

Ultimately, neither path is definitively superior; both have their merits. There are moments to fully commit and times to shift directions. Trust your instincts to discern what feels right. As you mature, your judgment will sharpen, allowing you to appreciate when to remain dedicated to a practice and when to let go.

Opportunities for growth present themselves daily. Have the courage to forge your unique path, unencumbered by external influences.

The second video, "Spiritual Growth," delves into the transformative journey of personal development and spiritual awakening.

Join my email list of over 1,000 individuals and receive your FREE mindfulness checklist!