1. Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice

Many individuals do not appreciate unsolicited advice; they prefer the freedom to navigate their own challenges and even make mistakes. Your unsolicited guidance often:

• Fails to enhance their decision-making skills.
• Does not empower them.
• Offers less growth than making their own choices.
• Can breed resentment if outcomes are unfavorable.
• May foster dependency, particularly in those who are insecure.

If you must, hold your tongue instead of offering advice. Focus on being a supportive listener rather than interjecting your own narratives or solutions. When people seek my counsel, I now redirect the conversation back to them with questions like:

• What do you think?
• What is your deepest feeling about this?
• What advice would you give to someone else in your situation?

More often than not, individuals already possess their answers; they simply need time to reflect. Sometimes, a lack of an immediate answer signifies that it's not the right moment to act. Clarity will come when the time is right.

Encourage others to discover their own solutions.

"People who are hurting don’t need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers. What we need are patient, loving witnesses. People to sit quietly and hold space for us." — Glennon Doyle

2. Cease Criticizing Others

Critiquing others does nothing to improve your own self-worth. Engaging in this behavior merely distracts you from focusing on your personal development.

I felt embarrassed when a friend shared how I often criticized her leadership style after joining a new group. It took years for her to express how she perceived me. It's much easier to identify flaws in others than to confront our own.

True growth comes from recognizing and transforming our shortcomings. No matter how irritating someone's behavior may seem to you, pointing it out rarely leads to change. What bothers you might be charming to someone else. You don’t hold the final say on what is "true."

Your criticism can lead to hurt feelings, defensive reactions, and conflicts, ultimately hindering your personal growth. While constructive feedback has its place, it should only be shared when requested.

Choose to stop criticizing others. Instead, commit to self-reflection. Identify and address your own negative behaviors, and you’ll find yourself blossoming day by day.

"It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections." — Daisaku Ikeda

3. Avoid Arguing Your Opinions

In today's divided world, it can be tempting to argue your viewpoint. During the pandemic, I often found myself embroiled in social media disputes that only led to stress and lost friendships.

It’s challenging to hold back, especially when provoked by a comment that feels misleading. However, attempting to change someone's opinion is often futile, particularly in an era rife with misinformation.

What purpose does arguing with someone who is closed-minded serve? Constant debates only fuel stress and exacerbate divisions. Interestingly, when I revisit discussions after some time, I sometimes realize that my initial reactions were misinterpretations or that I could understand the other person's perspective, even if I still disagreed.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have opinions. Share them confidently, supported by credible evidence, through social media or personal blogs. Yet, in personal interactions, it's important to approach conversations with caution. Be prepared to listen before asserting your stance, and be ready to consider the other person's perspective.

I’ve squandered too much time on fruitless arguments. No more.

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply." — Stephen Covey