Section 1.1: The Rise of Wellness Influencers

To clarify, I do endorse practices like meditation, mindfulness, and yoga, which can enhance our overall well-being when properly applied. However, we must be cautious of self-help gurus who excel at marketing yet lack true spiritual depth.

During the pandemic, numerous wellness influencers propagated QAnon conspiracy theories and unfounded claims regarding COVID-19. Some of these so-called “positive vibes only” advocates have aligned themselves with harmful ideologies, using the guise of freedom of speech to spread divisive messages.

Today, I want to delve into the realm of self-help and relationship guidance. The same troubling patterns are evident, albeit in a different arena.

As we increasingly consume content on social media, marketers have devised ways to manipulate our emotions. Women are inundated with messages claiming “all men are terrible,” while men are urged to adopt hyper-masculinity. Influencers and marketers are pitting us against one another, exploiting our vulnerabilities. The tactic remains constant: identify a problem and assign blame elsewhere.

Andrew Tate has found success on platforms like TikTok by convincing teenage boys that rejection is never their fault. He has monetized his “Hustler University,” which he claims teaches young men to embody “real masculinity.” His message, while straightforward, is also perilous. He suggests that financial success and treating women as objects are the keys to restoring masculinity.

Conversely, female celebrities like Cardi B and the Kardashians are instructing young women on how to become the ultimate “It-Girl,” profiting immensely from beauty products and superficial advice. Their narrative is equally simplistic and dangerous, promoting the idea that female empowerment involves demeaning men.

While figures like Andrew Tate face rightful backlash for advocating the exploitation of women, we must also question the messages of Cardi B, who has openly discussed drugging clients and stealing from them.

It's undeniable that our collective efforts to transcend traditional gender roles have taken a negative turn over the past decade, with the self-help industry and modern marketing driving this shift.

Consider the plethora of coaching programs aimed at both men and women. These initiatives rarely focus on genuine self-improvement; instead, they prioritize profit. Online coaching often encourages individuals to deflect accountability, fostering a culture of blame.

Men are led to believe that women are merely after their wealth, while women are told that toxic masculinity is the root cause of their troubles. Rather than working to change these narratives, both sides receive advice on “how to play the game.” Men are encouraged to increase their financial standing, while women are instructed to enhance their physical appearance.

Now, imagine a scenario where Andrew Tate and Cardi B were in a relationship. Consider the implications for young boys idolizing Tate and young girls emulating Cardi B. How can we expect these adolescents to cultivate mutual respect when they are exposed to such extreme and damaging ideologies?

Are we truly content with a society where boys aspire to be exploitative figures and women feel pressured to commodify their bodies for wealth? Do we want to perpetuate an environment where men and women seek to overpower and belittle one another?

Of course, Andrew Tate and the Kardashians represent only the extreme end of this spectrum. However, numerous other voices in the self-help arena promote similar ideologies with less overtly controversial rhetoric.

Section 1.2: The Egotism in Self-Help

Self-help, by its very definition, is centered around personal improvement. But what if this self-centered approach is the root of our societal issues?

What transpires when narcissistic individuals prioritize their needs above all else, disregarding those who cannot meet their demands? The outcome is often a rise in breakups and loneliness.

This is where capitalism plays a significant role. The self-help industry is a multi-billion-dollar enterprise that thrives on human suffering. Each failed relationship can potentially create two new customers, leading to a lack of genuine incentive to facilitate real healing.

But how can we combat this trend?

The most effective way to halt the influence of these toxic figures on our capacity to love is to stop funding them. We must cease celebrating the harbingers of this so-called “gender war” and redirect our focus toward finding happiness without resorting to manipulation.

When I was studying “Gender Studies,” one of my professors equipped us with a powerful tool to identify harmful gender roles: the concept of “Flipping it.”

As children, we learned to treat others the way we wish to be treated. Let’s apply this principle to relationship advice. “Flipping it” entails taking the advice given to one gender and applying it to the other.

Consider a female version of Andrew Tate—what would her rhetoric entail? Now, envision a male counterpart to Cardi B—how would he communicate?

From my understanding of Andrew Tate, he poses a significant threat to women around him. He has reportedly coerced women into sex work and exploited them for financial gain. Each boy who adopts Tate's harmful mindset contributes to a larger issue. But what of the girls who believe that emulating OnlyFans models is acceptable because it’s what their role models advocate?

Perhaps we should reconsider glorifying sex work or encouraging teenagers to abandon education in pursuit of it.

Moreover, it’s crucial that individuals like Andrew Tate and Cardi B do not shape our perceptions of gender roles. While there’s no disrespect intended toward athletes or sex workers, there are far more capable individuals who could guide us in healthier directions.

We do not need “Hustler’s University” or overpriced beauty products. These offerings lack true value.

As a society, we must cultivate greater empathy and enhance our communication. We need to reduce the unrealistic expectations perpetuated by social media and foster authentic connections instead.

Most importantly, we should abandon the childish mentality of “boys versus girls.” We are all in this together, striving for happiness and love.

Let’s withdraw our time, resources, and energy from toxic role models and focus on personal growth rather than casting blame.

We should listen to one another and elevate our empathy rather than engage in divisive arguments designed to instill hatred.

Remember, the person you are dating is not Andrew Tate, and the woman you are with is not Cardi B—let’s behave accordingly.